Those who cannot make history…

are doomed to rewrite it.   

Patriot Battles by Michael Stephenson

    In my collection of newspaper advertisements from the Revolutionary War I have one that always brings a smile to my face. It ran in the year 1777 and reads as follows “WANTED for  his  Majesty’s  service, as an assistant to his Excellency General Howe and Hugh Gaine, printers and publishers of the New York Gazette, a gentleman who can lie with ingenuity. Enquire of Peter Numbskull, collector and composer of lies for their Excellencies at New York.” Well it took 231 years but I believe the best man for the job has arrived. Michael Stephenson has the credentials that would seem on paper to make for the perfect author of a book called Patriot Battles, A former editor of the Military Book Club, Contributor to National Geographic’s Battlefields and a long time student of military history.  Hidden deep within the book is some wonderful information. Unfortunately trying to get to that information is like bobbing for apples in a cesspool, You can get the fruit but you are going to have to swallow a lot of...um, excrement in your effort. Among the conclusions of Stephenson are #1 the Patriot Army was not made up of patriots but the very poor who could not get any other work. #2 George Bush is a bad President and the Iraq war is bad (Yes I realize that this may not seem relevant to a Revolutionary War history but it does not stop Stephenson) #3 The British really were not so tough, in fact they were really lousy soldiers. #4 The Americans won only because they had greater numbers and the British weren’t really trying. Now I hope I did not just spoil the book for you. If you hate America and the Founders then this is the book for you.

   As for me, I feel like the bodyguard that just took a bullet for the boss. I know all I did was read (and review) this book for you but you have been spared dear readers from wasting $27.95 and long hours of suffering. No greater love hath any reviewer than he that suffers through this whole book for his readers.

   Patriot Battles by Michael Stephenson is available from Harper Collins and my trash can until Friday pickup.